Ruska
by LichMistress
Summary: She has encountered an enemy that cannot die. She has the demon named a fearsome title, dwelling inside her is cancer. As the sands pour down, one of crimson eyes has come closer than before, and is far less a monster when he stands before her.
1. You are like the autumn

This story is written to the song "Ruska" by Apocalyptica. I encourage you to listen to the song as you read it for proper mood.

_I do not own Hellsing, or it's characters, I do not own the song "Ruska", or the band Apocalyptica. _

She wrapped her arms around him, resting the side of her face against his chest as he embraced her. Her blue eyes welled, staring out the window in her office at the setting sun, watching it fade as she knew the sun's fate would repeat, though once she fell, she would never rise. He looked straight, only the shadows he would stare into, they were what his mind's eye saw, bleak and endless dark.

"Alucard, you will be free..."

A gasp from him, his chest trembled, his arms tightened around her thin body, his neck leaning back as a wretched moan of agony escaped his lips. A soft sound of sobbing rose from them both, though it was he who's sobs were within the repeating agonizing moans. The man within the monster awoke, it's heart beating, it's tears pouring. This evening and the coming each would become a taunting prelude for the rushing fate approaching.

"NO! I do not want freedom, I want my servitude to you, to see your face every evening, to see your snide smile, your eyes, the body you hide, the soft flesh, the blood beneath it. Even after all these hundreds years, you have made my blood run like no one else, I am no monster as I look into your eyes, Integra, my master." His voice seemed to roar from within.

Her hands gripped the collar of his shirt tightly, her eyes closing with force. She looked up at him, though he could not bear to see her weep as he could not cease to tears. Sanguine tears of his own streamed down into her light hair, tainting the strands with color. The setting sun brought soft illume onto her skin, the allure was nothing but sickening mockery of a god who shunned them.

"How did I ever put this aside, Alucard? How could I? All for my religion, my father, my honor, still..." She felt shame against him now, with the same knowledge of this fate.

"That is how, Integra. You are too strong. You will be through this." Roughly he grabbed her shoulders, forcing himself to look at her weeping face, seeing his red tears in her hair, "Damn you! Why are you so stubborn?!" He shouted deeply.

"That is taking it too far! I will die as a human!" Her heart pulsed as if struggling to match her mind's torment. She looked into his eyes deeper than before.

"I will bite you in your sleep, I will drink your blood, I will hold you down, and as you scream, my blood will be in your mouth, down your throat. I will not let you leave this god-forsaken earth! I know it is not what you want!"

"Dear God...how can it be that I have fallen in love?" She whispered to her god. "I never knew I could..." she breathed heavily. "I have fallen for my enemy; the impaler, the vampire..."

She is twenty-five, and she has encountered an enemy that cannot die. She has the demon named one fearsome title, dwelling inside her is cancer. Growing, spreading, all to steal her life. She wished to return to her home and rest with him there when the grains of sand all join together. He realized then with this news, that love was between them, a bond he had never felt, a bond more than master and servant. He would be nothing without her now, he knew the wounds would remain, a bloody slice in his heart which would never regenerate. There was something about her, and something about him. They shared moments together in the past, embraces, nights of passion, gentle romance, that not a single other soul had ever bear witness to. He never stole the sacred flower from her, he would always leave her that purity so he may keep her forever.

"No, Integra, my heart has awaken for you... That life is in the past. I would mutilate and impale every human in the world for you, if that would make your god see me, if he would cure you. He has cursed us...You can name me a monster, a dead-man, but every dead-man is still a man. Call me by the name I was as a man." His lips brushed against her forehead after he spoke so gently.

"Vlad Dracula..." She said softly, her heart felt as if it could stop just then.

A hand lifted her chin, his gloved fingers swept away her tears, and then his, staining the white material a deep red. His face still showed remains of his weeping as his lips pressed against her's. His arms encircled her waist, her arms around his neck. She would have less than even a year to hold her life dear, in soon to come months she will begin to decay as cancer seems to eat her alive. He releases the kiss at these thoughts, he threw his head back and groaned as more tears forced through. He holds her closely, as they sob.

"Vlad, do not beg me. Cherish my time left here. Time will heal your heart. This is what I must do for Hellsing, I have betrayed it enough, I will be forever damned. I will take that damnation with strength, I never once regret ever having you close." Her voice turned with confidence, even now a gentle smile on her reddened and swollen lips."

His heart wrenched as she spoke the name which disappeared with the past. "You are like the autumn, all beauty, though it falls slowly to the ground until nothing is left but the body...and all I can do is watch..."


	2. So, I be damned, Amen

Meanwhile beneath them, their sobbing caught the ears of the fledgling one. She ascended to the first floor of the manor, finding the retainer, Walter, sitting on the lowest stair. Her wide red eyes showed concern for all, perhaps fear, she had never heard anyone sob in this house. She stood before the butler at attention, biting her lip for a moment in unease.

"Is that...My master...and...Sir Integra?"

"Yes. Leave them alone." he whispers in reply, his head down, eyes to the floor.

"Why? What happened?" She replied with haste, shaking her head.

"Sir Integra has been diagnosed earlier with cancer, Miss Victoria. There is no way to save her, she will die soon." A single tear escaped his eye, crashing onto the floor.

Her mouth widened. Her master wept over her now, but he wept at all, she had never known him at any emotional weakness before. Now she could clearly listen to the sobs, the dreadful moans of despair, her jaw seemed to drop. She could hear what they spoke, though not all was understandable, her heart seemed to disintegrate as she heard her master's master speak the true name "Vlad Dracula".

"Walter, there has to be something we can do! Master Alucard can-" The old man interrupted her,

"She will refuse his offer, she will never give in. She...will be deciding what will come of Hellsing within this week."

"No! Why would she want to die?!"

"Miss Victoria, Sir Integra does not want to die, I assure you. Though, she wants to remain human for her legacy is dependant on it."

Taking her right hand, he looked into her eyes as they began to slowly walk out of her dim office as sunset turned to night. Crimson stained her hair, her face, her suit, the vampire's tears running down her holy cross. She rested her head against his shoulder while they approached her private bedroom. Her once vibrant eyes appeared dull, the whites red from her excessive weeping. She opened the door, holding it ajar for the servant to enter through. Closing and locking it behind her, she approached her bed, taking a thin tissue from her night stand to cleanse her face, while he removed his hat, long coat and bloodied gloves, tossing them aside.

She knelt before her bed at it's edge, placing her elbows on the surface, clasping her hands together with her cross between them. Her head bows as she begins to pray in silence, as he turns his back, having nothing to say to her god.

"Master!" He heard his fledgling cry out to him, he could hear her running steps approaching. "Master Alucard!" She invited herself into the room and stands in awe, seeing the bloody face of her master stare in sorrow back at her.

"Police girl, I want to be alone with Miss Hellsing tonight." He spoke to her firmly.

"Sir Integra!" She called out across the room.

"No, Police girl, let her pray to her cruel god, it will take a miracle for her to live, though she is strong, she will fight it. Let her be as she wishes."

"Master, I...I'm sorry..."

"Neither of us could stop this enemy. Let me be with her alone."

He turns his back to his fledgling, kneeling behind the praying woman, putting his arms around her waist. The young one looks at them as her eyes fill with blood, she turns away, shutting the heavy door behind her. "So, I be damned. Amen." She hears the woman say strongly.

She allows him to hold her there, dwelling on her short future, what must be done. He does not read her mind, this is no time for games, nor treachery, as he is silent, she considers his offer briefly, and she knows she cannot accept. They rise together and join each other on her soft bed, he lays on his side and holds her close, kissing her gently while her body rests against him. Her right hand touches his face and runs through his hair, remaining on his neck. He removed the white gloves from her delicate hands, the tie from her neck, and the suit jacket covering her. She lied on her back, looking up at him, there would be no more tears for now. He gives her a genuine smile while he leaned down, disrobing her to undergarments, having far too much respect to take that upon himself, this was what she always did for herself. She nods at him as he bears all of his cold flesh to her for her, and she allows him the sight of her once again.

"Vlad, stay with me tonight." She says solemnly

He kisses her deeply once more, she rises to sit, her back straight, her hair behind her shoulders, she trusts him with neck exposed. He placed an arm behind her shoulders, and his other hand on her leg.. His cool lips ever so carefully kissed her neck, he could feel her blood rush. Placing a gentle kiss on her throat, his eyes well with sanguine tears, for she has denied his offer to be forever. As he looked at her face, he could see she was tired, he softly nods his head and lies down, letting her sleep against his chest, keeping his arms around her as if to protect her from the growing plague within her body.

He would not sleep, not that the time is when he should walk, though he knows these are the last nights with her in his arms. He wars with tears, forcing them back, he will not bloody her light hair with them, and his face is stained far too much.


	3. Hellsing belongs to you now

She awoke slightly before morning, the rays of light echoing her rise. The birds serenaded her quiet movements into the desk chair. The documents before her were to seal the fate of her organization. With slow dread, she puts a pen in her fingers, she begins writing, signing her name, placing trust of her blessed family work into the hands of another, to one who would always nurture it, abide by it's set rules, watch over it, and carry on the eternal wishes and duty.

He creeps into her office, staring at her beauty, stealing the sight of her long blonde hair, her blue eyes, for the last times that he would, knowing she would soon disappear. His mouth opened, however; it was she who spoke first, even before he drew a breath. His heart seemed to tighten as she spoke the words she had.

"Hellsing belongs to you now, Vlad."

"Integra...Can you be so sure of this?"

"Yes. Your name, sign it. I have marked each place with an X. Please, do this now while I am still here."

And so he did. Her word as law may it be agreed upon or not. He forced back crimson tears as he signed the clandestine name over and over, beneath her's. After the last name was signed he takes her hand in his, he places a kiss on her bare skin. Her hands feel frail, it seems too frail that she wish not to cover them, yet she still wears the garments many witness her in as a healthy woman. He would accept her dying wishes. Her eyes were desolate now, so it seemed she were at peace with the reaper whom stood behind her, inching closer every moment. Ah, the desolation of love; how it looms as a shadow.

"Everything you order, you are my master until the day..." He whispers.

She smiles at him. "Until you are the last one, Vlad..Alucard."

They embrace as the minutes go by, their lips in union. As time watches over, they descend the manor stairs, marching her last steps, they know it will be tonight. She is weaker, her steps shorter, her eyes heavier, her skin cooler. He holds her, an arm around her waist, fingers beneath her ribs, his eyes in no betrayal of her face. They come before the butler and the fledgling, allowing them notice they will attend the conference tonight. The vampire raises his master into his arms, she will go slowly and without pain, she does not resist, she wants to be closer to him.

She sits in the tall chair, her throne in the room before the round table.. Soon the room fills with men who all take their seats, though the one "Judas" has left one empty seat, that is where the next director of the Hellsing Organization sits. The men stare, some whisper, all of confusion, awe, and surprise. The butler stands at the side of her, the fledgling next to the doors.

"Knights...He, the vampire you see in that chair, look at him." She pauses. "He is the Hellsing leader now."

Gasps fill the room, shouting, arguing, profanities surround her. Her hand lifts, silencing them, her eyes looking upon the table, they see her fatigue. The Queen is the elderly voice emitting from the telephone besides the dying woman. There is a moment of quiet, though none so silent as heavy breaths are heard.

"He is the one who will never betray this duty, the only one I trust with Helling. He is Vlad Dracula, his ancient name is written on the papers I had written for my successor. You will learn to trust him. Her Majesty has agreed, though, do keep this quiet. We are far more clandestine than ever once I pass."

"Sir Integra!" A man exclaims to her left. "Must you pick a...a monster?"

"A man...a man who I can trust. You may see him as a monster, though I know there is still a man left in him." Her blue eyes see her vampire's smirk. "The seal will be broken with my death, though I have trust in this one you title a monster. If you had only known, gentlemen, what he has done for us all, for the queen, for England, for Hellsing, and the world. It is a place filled with less true monsters because of him." She smiles in return to them all.

"I will serve Integra Hellsing's ever wish, alive or dead." He announces, a stern expression present. "Let the lady be, it will happen any day now."

A slight frown forms on her face, yes, she is dying. They know what demon is inside of her, eating her life, possessing her body as they speak. She inhales as they converse together for she has none to add. Her decision is final, she will hear no more toward the matter. She rises from her throne, she raises her chin as she begins to speak.

"I must now retire from my duty and this meeting. It has been an honor, I bid you all Goodbye." With such she turns and she vanishes through the doors.


	4. And all I can do is watch

Her body lie still in his arms as he carries her, walking slowly, staring straight into the autumn sunset. mourning her with many bloody tears as he approaches the field. Red, yellow, orange, and brown leaves surround them, falling in the air, lying on the ground. There is nothing here, as she will never rise again, there is no beauty in this world now. There he found emptiness, where he may be alone with what is left for her. His right heel crushes a deep red leaf as he places her on the earth, kneeling at her. Her long locks of blonde hair spread out around her face and shoulders, shining by the sunset's rays. Her eyes will never open, he will never see the contrast of blue. He looks at the sky, his red eyes meet the red clouds and air above, his arm raises, his palm to the sun, he closes his eyes.

"You curse true love, only because I have died and do not depart my body..." His deep voice whispers to the almighty. "You steal her from me, from the world which needs her. You deny her your home, you treat her as if she has done no good. You damn her for the union of our lips...You are cruel. She died in your name, because you watch her. She should have been with me..." His arm lowers, he touches her forehead.

Perhaps damnation has not found her yet, perhaps she is listening, watching. He lays down beside her, resting his head against her breasts, a hand holding her's. He kisses her thin fingers one last time. He spends only a short moment against her, he rises on both knees, taking her body delicately, resting her head against his shoulder as he places her arms around his neck. He is overwhelmed with dread, his heart is in panic, his passion for her rises. His left arm brings her lips to his face, the brim of his hat shades her face as if guarding her from the eyes from heaven, and his right arm wraps around her hips. He whispers, it is for no one else to hear, she is the listener. He kisses her lips deeply, his sanguine tears return, falling onto her face. He kisses her neck, just before his sharp fangs penetrate the flesh. Her blood does not flow, though his tongue grasps the taste of what may pour from her veins. He drinks, he parts her lips and he tears into his wrist, letting the blood pour down her throat.

"You are like the autumn, all beauty, though it falls slowly to the ground until nothing is left but the body...and all I can do is watch..."


End file.
